Cheney Gun Safety
POSTED: 2-19-2006
See Dick hunt. Hunt, Dick, hunt. Kill those birds right out of a box. And, literally, don't let anyone stand in your way. If they do, fill 'em with buckshot.
So, our Vice President, shoots a buddy in a hunting accident. More than likely, since Harry Whittington was a lawyer, there could be other reasons our VP did what he did. Perhaps, in keeping with the rest of the nation, Whittington had the audacity to ask about Bin Laden, or weapons of mass destruction, or, even more heinous, Haliburton. Cheney's cold response, in the form of 12-gauge buckshot, put an end to the conversation. To paraphrase Jim Croce:
You don't intern for William Clinton
You don't wait for FEMA's help in the sticks
You don't ride the road with Senator Teddy
And you don't go hunting with Dick
Tookie, Clarence, and Michael
POSTED: 2-17-2006Gang founder Tookie Williams is done. Old-time hood Clarence Ray Allen is equally over. Neither was especially contrite or remorseful at the end but is not that nor their lethal injection executions that ties them together. You see, Tookie and Clarence were both bad pickers of lawyers. The legal wrangling managed to keep both men on death row for more than 20 years. Allen's lawyers even used the most creative death row defenses in history by saying that since Allen was on death row for so long, he shouldn't be executed, failing to note that it was their legal maneuvering that kept him there so long. Ultimately, though, the lawyers for Williams and Allen failed and their clients are now pushing up daisies.
Not so the lawyers for Michael Morales. They successfully argues that killing Morales by lethal injection was cruel and unusual punishment. This for a man that bludgeoned a 17-year-old girl into unconsciousness, raped her, and then stabbed her in the heart four times.
Ta ta, Tookie. Fare the well, Clarence. And, Mr. Morales: Bravo! You, unlike your miscreant brethren, with their bad lawyers, may have beaten the system.
Olympic Boredom
POSTED: 2-7-2006Some people will label me blasphemer but that has hardly mattered to me in the past. The Winter Olympics have arrived and it has no meaning. Now, there was a time when it did have meaning. This would have been 1980, when a miracle happened and a bunch of young, amateur US athletes beat the always professional Russian team for a gold medal in hockey. Olympics at it finest, not just because the US won, but because it was still being played by mostly non-professional athletes.
Then, in the summer of 1980, the US boycotted the games in Moscow to protest the Russian invasion of Afghanistan (how ironic). Then, in 1984, Russians boycotted the games in Los Angeles to protest our boycott of their games. After that, the professional athletes were granted the right to play and the Olympics deteriorated into just another example of big business. Then, the French ice-skating judge in the 2000 Winter games is paid to cheat and the Canadian team is, initially, denied a gold medal.
The Olympics no longer symbolizes sportsmanship. So, this winter, let them put on their skates or skis, don their helmets or flashy dress, and compete away. I'm sure someone cares. It just isn't me.
Talent Tango - The Sequel
POSTED: 1-26-2006
Okay. So the Ron Artest story ends in a trade. But, really, to the Sacramento Kings? I guess it's a good thing that I don't care about basketball as much as I used to (I stopped caring when traveling became an accepted skill). We now wait and see if Artest charges into the crowd with a cowbell this time.
Talent Tango
POSTED: 1-21-2006The Ron Artest story has grown boring. Trade him, play him, make him work for the Donald. But, really, shut up about him.
360 Bugs
POSTED: 1-19-2006
Microsoft released the XBox 360 last week. Woo hoo! It has bugs. And who among you thought it wouldn't? At least, now, we understand the 360 in it's name. In an unanticipated development, the XBox is selling poorly in Japan. It seems the Japanese gamers are just going to wait for Sony's Playstation 3. All of this is soooooo unpredictable.
New Orleans Blues
POSTED: 1-17-2006Not to sound insensitive (but, of course, it will) but it bothers me that the US Government, who took the brunt of the blame for the New Orleans flood, is pumping $500 billion (that's with a B) to rebuild it. Now, don't get me wrong, if the US Government actually sent Katrina to New Orleans, then, yes, they should fix it. However, I'm not convince that George W. Bush and his stable of comic characters can, as of yet, control the weather patterns. If they could, well, Iraqis would be building an ark.
The people of New Orleans, as well as the state of Louisiana, should shoulder some of the burden to rebuild. This would generate a little more respect and empathy rather than their current tactic of blaming everyone else. Hey, listen, here's a news flash: your city was located under the sea-level, and built next to a huge lake held back by 40 year-old technology. It's a wonder it didn't flood years ago.
